Tuesday, June 2, 2009

June Bugs... **shudder**

Hey everyone! So sorry I have been lax in my duties here as a blog writer, but... forget it, I have no excess's... er, um, I mean I have a ton of excuses just not any that are good enough..
I was looking at my stats counter thingy this morning and found that a couple of people had visited this post....


not sure why, but they did - however I went on to read it again and realized - ITS JUNE!! Time for those horrible June bugs.. See, I know for a fact that they are Satan with wings. They must rule Hell because I cant think of ANYTHING a more disgusting or horrifying creature than these....



The only other thing that ranks right up there is this.....

For the love of GOD - WHY WOULD YOU TOUCH THIS!! Seeing this makes me want to rip my arms off and beat it to death.... My granny says when she see's things like this or anything odd... "Don't let that loose, it'll suck the cow dry".... I love her sayings...

In truthfulness - I hate bugs..with hard shells and sticky legs. I can hold snakes, toads, frogs, worms, mice, rats, fish, spiders, moths butterfly's - you name it... no problem. You stick a bug in front of me and I promise I will crawl you like a tree in July baby.... clear to the top and sit on the rim of your hat. Now, don't get me wrong I don't walk out in the yard and freak out at the thought of all the bugs under my bare feet nor do I get obsessed about the fact that they are everywhere... BUT - when I hear that sound, if you have seen and heard a June bug you KNOW the sound I am talking about... I crap my pants right there.... then scream like a banshee on the prowl. When I was living at home they would land on my screen at night and I would spray Aqua Net all over them buggers through the screen. Thank God I didn't smoke and light up by my window, cuz that screen would have went up like a well lit Christmas tree or uncle Bud at the punch bowl... I am not sure where this deranged fear comes from, but I think it has to do with having one caught in my hair as a child. It was such a traumatic experience that I don't remember it - but I am sure it must have happened cuz that's the only reasoning I can think of for this morbid, brain freezing fear...and that is because my hair is to my waste now, so getting one out would be like rebuilding the Egyptian pyramids....

Anyway - as I read my list from that blog... I laughed at number 4 the most. I truely LOVE shoes - heels to be exact and I have dreams about them. Vivid dreams of knee hight boots and a shiney sivler pole.. WAIT.. sorry thats not what I ment.. I mean, um, er - crap - well here is a pair of my shoes that I bought for my sisters wedding rehersal supper... Dont they yell 1947 to you...





These are my favorites - dont they just scream - STRIPPER POLE - OOPS, I MEAN dont they scream Wizard of Oz at the top of their lungs...






Pam C. not a word about the stripper pole...shhhh I'll borrow you my shoes someday. *snort* Holly you too..... *double snort*
I love old looking fashions - none of this stuff for me....
not only are some of them ugly (not all of them, there are a few in there I would wear )- but WAY to pricy for my blood and ugly, did I say ugly. I have heard they are comfy, BUT I am all for breaking my ankles and toes to look good on Sunday mornings or at night for the Milk Man....what do you mean you dont wear just heels to bed for your man.... prude...

See that chair they are on - $20 bucks at a garage sale tootsie... and its not stained its the fabric -its posh, or plush.. whateva

SO today I am going to be baking bread again and laundry again - When I have to work at my outside job the laundry sits like a bird on a wire...so the laundry will call me - probably swear at me. When I am working and trying to run things here, somthings got to give and its the laundry. Naked is an option out here in the country. OH and I have 2 sick kids - Big Son is throwing up his shoes and Milk Dud has the poops from another world....they smell like.... I dont know what they smell like - I have a clothspin on my nose.... Will hopefully write more later.

Over, under and outa here....

23 comments:

COFFEE MAN said...

whe your driving the harley , you have to be able to duck FAST !

dandelionmom said...

AMEN and AMEN!

Willow Witch said...

Did you and I have similar weekends with diffrent bugs? Mine was a killer bee at 60 mph....

Fidget said...

does teh clothes pin thing really work? Maybe I am using the wrong kind? Spring loaded or oldie style?

Peggy said...

I love visiting here. I always leave in a better mood. Girl, life at your place has to be filled with laughter.

Mrs Mom said...

OK baby, you get all the darn onions and the spiders, and I'll kill the "crunchy bugs" for you. Deal? ;)

I'd say squeeze those babies from me... but umm.... well, just send them Air Kisses today! ;) Might be safer considering what is coming out of both of them right now...

Thanks for the giggles Heidi. You always make me smile!

Love to you Sweet Sister!

Sand Flat Farm said...

Hilarious post! I hate June bugs, too. My hair is real curly and when one flies by and gets caught by a curly hair, it gets lost in there forever, not to mention getting its legs all caught. I'm a mess screaming and beating my head and yelling for my husband to untangle it!!! EEEK!

Karen Deborah said...

you are a crack up. what did they eat? somethin bad huh? Lets see June bugs, I had a cousin that would catch them, they grow big in Texas and then tie a string on them and swirl them around. Yeah I was screaming. Then he'd walk them like a dog on a leash.
I hate bugs. So why do I live in MS the bug fest of the world?
The other day I saw a bug on my kitchen table and all I could see at first was the back part straight up in the air like a scorpion, so naturally being my calm level headed self I began screaming,"help help it's a itty bitty baby scorpion, save me!"
My husbands daighter starts crackin up, scoops it up in her HANDS and says naw it's just an earwig. Gimme a break since when do earwigs hold thier tails up like scorpions? We had a good laugh anyway.
um I ain't even gettin started on shoes and you are young with all that pole talk.

you SMOKE? as in cigerettes?

MUST STOP THAT NOW!!!! yikes!

Heidi said...

NO I dont smoke!!! NEVER HAVE!! No its the flu going around here.. brought it home from a friends house.. LOL

Beverooni said...

June bugs totally creep me out. I grew up on a farm in Idaho and we would have a lot of them in the summer. They would get on the screens and make those awful noises. I wouldn't even open the door and go out I was so grossed out by them. I always worried one would get in my hair. Just reading your post made me shudder from the tip of my head to the tips of my toes. GROSS!

~ Sara ~ said...

June bugs aren't want gets me... it's these tiny little hard shelled flying demons that only come out at night when your out late in the milk barn. AND the DIVE bomb you. They get in you hair, down your shirt and into other places... and they bite! I love warmer weather but detest these little bugs!

Suzanne said...

OK, now I have the mental image of you dancing around like June Cleaver, doing the laundry in your Wizard of Oz shoes.

- Suzanne

DayPhoto said...

THe nice thing about coming here to visit I usually get to laugh!

Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com

Jody Blue said...

Your a hoot! and fyi I hold june bugs cuz--they're cute, yep they are.

Holly said...

"SO today I am going to be baking bread again and laundry again - "

in THOSE shoes???????

ducking and running in PA

Heidi said...

Holly! in ONLY those shoes!! LOL I am hoping to get another baby ya know!!!

Greenmare said...

oh man, hate June bugs like the plague, which it seems, you have at your house.
poor momma, cleaning up yuck.
hopefully it will all be over soon, and you can air it out nice and the wee ones will be back to their tricks in no time. (and so will you with your cutie shoes)

Domestic Diva said...

*waves excitedly* HI HEIDI!!!!!

we have those SAME beetles here right now, and wanna know what my s.o.p. with them is?

shreik at the top of my lungs, running away as fast as i can still shreiking for somebody to come kill the dang thing as fast as possible. I plug my ears when they smush em. yuck..

Those shoes are beautiful, especially the second pair!

Heidi said...

Thanks Domestic D... I LOVE THEM and they didnt cost me no $200 smackers either! Hug them girls from auntie milkmaid!

Susan said...

Those shoes can't come from northern Wisconsin. They are much too cute!! Will let you know shortly, Heidi, when I'll be in your area. Plans are being completed. Love those shoes!!!

harlow727 said...

Ooooh, I'm drooling over your shoes...LOVE THEM!!!!

Jenni said...

Ooh, I love those shoes, and I am not much into high heels. They look like a 30s or 40s style which is an era I love for fashion.

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