Sunday, March 28, 2010

How to render lard...

I know I have done this before, but a friend of mine wanted to see it - so please bare with me...here it is again!
div>Lard is not for pansies people – if you cant take the fat, get out of the kitchen! Rendering lard is not a hard task, nor is it really time consuming. A little bit of background on lard is in order.
Lard is made from pig fat and pig fat only. Beef fat is tallow and people use that for soap, bird suet and some people I am sure cook with it, but not this chica – no sir ree….
To start with you must talk to your local butcher and ask him to save you the best pig fat that he can get his greasy little fingers on. When procuring fat you want to be sure its ‘clean’, and by that I mean it has little or no meat particles in it. It is impossible to get completely clean pig fat, but you can get exceptional quality fat if the butcher gives a crap about saving it for you. Our local butchers are GREAT about this and know that if they butcher for us, at times we butcher our own, I will want GOOD fat for lard. They always are pretty proud of their accomplishment and say “See Heidi I got ya the good stuff’ – they’re proud of their trade. Not everyone can be a butcher and do a good job of it. SO, after you have gotten your pig fat – let the fun begin.


Here is what raw pig fat looks like right from the butcher....



You have to put it in a roaster in pieces.


I just lop pieces off as I go... I like to lop things off.... or just lop..

Then you must bake it on a low setting because it IS FAT - IT WILL BURN! So I prefer 225 but Granny Farmer does it on 200 and it takes her longer. I like to try to get mine done in a day if possible. When you cook it on a higher heat, you must watch it more carefully... I will show you why later...





After a little while you will notice a 'scent' in your house that smells a little bit like pigs, but if your butcher did a good job - it should be minimal. See the liquid fat in this roster? This is what you want. I check it and then put it back in until there is more fat melted off. HOWEVER - you dont want to just 'let it cook' you should check on it frequently because the liquid fat will cook the semi solid fat QUICKER than before. Its just like deep frying...if that example helps at all.
I continue to cook it until there is more liquid fat, then I take a colonder lined with a terri cloth dish towel and set it in a cake pan. I didnt get a picture of this because I am a one woman freak show people and the grease was FREAKIN HOT! Then I GENTLY pour the liquid fat slowly into the colonder and watch the small particles catch on the towel. You dont have to put the towel in, but I am very fussy and want my lard to be litteraly 'spotless'. The small amounts of fat that get into the liquid lard make specs in it - I like mine white like crisco.




See how clear this is - Milk Man happend to walk in and ask me why I had water in the pan... I screamed "YES" thats what I want to hear!! He cocked his eyebrow and said - Lard huh - he knows me well. I didnt use a colonder on this batch because there were not as many small pieces - so a spider works well.
I let the pans set to cool for a little bit on the counter. You can see that it is getting cloudy as it cools. Once it is semi-solid, I put a lit on it and set it out on the deck were its 13degrees and it will freeze for me.

Dont mind the corn - Milk Man was testing the moisture content and left it on the table out there for the birds...
See how white it is? Its a bad picture but it is white - pure like new snow..




Then I cut it, put it in bags and into the freezer it goes to be used for pie crust, bread or anything that calls for crisco.



Now some people cook fat until its yellow and the 'cracklings' are 'done' - I dont because it yellows and somtimes, not always, but somtimes has a piggy strong smell and flavor.




Now I had this batch get a little yellow, but it will still be used because its not smelly at all. If it had a 'smell' to it, I would use it for suet cakes, or give it to Vicki for her soap because the esential oils will cover the scent and not ruin her soap... SO any questions?

Monday, March 22, 2010

ITS HERE!! IT'S HERE!! Garden Porn!!!!!!!

OH MY GOSH!!! I have to tell you that this post is short - cuz I have SO MUCH to look at right now. I will be back with all the dirty pictures and perverted mulch that I can get my hands on...

But till then....



Do you like my hair? Yes, that is a hotel bathroom...you can tell cuz its clean and the mirror can actually REFLECT an image unlike my water stained, finger print checkered, dust clinging to mirror in my bathroom. All these years I thought I was a red head - dangit - this mirror just blew that outa the water!
Talk to you soon!!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Lispy ask's a question.....

Today I am home trying to get a grip on the shred of sanity that I claim to have....don't look at me like that. I swear there is one here somewhere among the dirty dish's, miss matched socks, cow poop on the floor, cheeto faced baby and the never ending piles of laundry scattered through the house. Needless to say on days like this, I make lunch that consists of .....a box....its shame full really - I don't take the time to make a real meal at lunch...but, that's life while working off the farm I guess. Anyway - as I was standing by the stove stirring mac and cheese from Aldi's, Lispy came up next to me and hugged my leg. Looked up at me with his beautiful eyes and the following took place....be prepared...there is no swearing...thank you God...

Lispy - mom

me - yes dear - (please don't forget that i was only half listening because I was making noodles for the mac and cheese and running the feed bill through my head and thinking about joining the peace corps and running away with the hippies that drove by in the love machine yesterday and a few other things)

Lispy - Does dad think your sexy -

me(after I drop the spoon and pick it back up) what do you mean Lispy?

Lispy - You know mom does dad think your sexy like Cinderella?

Me - I have no idea what your dad thinks about a sexy Cinderella.. What do you think sexy means?

Lispy - That you wear pretty cloths and dance around.....

Me - Yup, that's what it means - but we cant use that word till your 20....so from now on just tell someone you think they are pretty not sexy ok..

Lispy - Ok mom...mom - your pretty sexy like Cinderella....

and that is was the end of it... until he said that his Big Son had told him that sexy meant pretty with nice cloths - Big Son is not home to interrogate, I mean question at this time....

You all have a nice day and remember - I think your all sexy people!!!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

My aching leg....

Well my dear readers - the Milk Mans Wife has had a health issue. I had lipo-suction... **giggle** ok, not really - but I wanted lipo-suction. The dr. took off a mole and I politely asked if he could take 10lbs off each thigh while he was at it. He was not amused....I told him I would make him supper, but no go. So I am now lesionless, with chubby legs....and flabby arms...and a roll in the middle where my waist used to be...with a 1 inch cut on my leg, that when the stitchs ripped ended up being closer to 2...I found 6 gray hairs today so as soon as I wake up from that coma that sent me into, I am going to town to buy hair dye. If you have any questions, ask the children because I will be drinking the rest of the cough syrup....and they are smarter than me anyway.

Be back soon- no, I didnt/wont take pictures of my large, bruised chubby thigh - so dont ask!!! LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Here I am, Rock me like a huricane!!!!!

I am such an 80's child!!!!! Beef teaters! I have to put that off for a few days, cuz I dont have any pictures of beef teaters... **hangs head in shame** I am SO sorry...

Anyway - here is a picture of the baby farmer....




He is getting SOOOOOOOOOOOO big! I cant look at these pictures anymore without wanting a baby....



What a difference 18 months makes!!