Tuesday, September 8, 2009

What makes us stronger....

Do you ever see a picture that makes your emotions raw? I am sure its of sick children, aging loved ones or the horrors of war. We all have those feelings about pictures like that I am sure, but I mean ones that are just personal. Ones that would only make your heart ache or weep? I do - this one....



I want this to be his future and so does he. I know and belive that God opens windows or door with all my heart.. I also believe that everything is in His time for the betterment of His kingdom. I dont doubt any of that, it just seems unlikely that a childs heart breaking could fit in the picture He is painting for our lives. BUT, I dont claim to know the answer and am happy resting in the truth that He is our caretaker and loves us completly. Big Son is having a hard time with the fact that we wont be here farming next year. It heartbreaking to him that he 'wont be able to pick up where dad leaves off' - those are his words. Is it bred into a farm family the need for a mulitgenerational task? To pass on what your fathers before you have littlerly bleed for. I am not going to go into any more than that today. I am NOT going to be depressed over this, nope nope nope nope.... but I am going to grieve and be sad at the result of hopes dashed. I have often wondered if people who have money, by this I mean people who would not miss $500,000 - if they knew that they could make such a HUGE IMPACT on a family that works hard - if they would some how help those people. There are people who remodel or build 'summer homes or guest homes' for more than that and dont bat an eye at the cost. That amount would buy our farm and all the machinery that we need.... I am not jealous of these folks, nor would I EVER want to be rich. I just wish there were some way to show some of these folks how the food that they eat, comes from the sweat of my husband brow and causes the ache in his back....

I am not complaining, just putting my thoughts on 'paper'! :) My kraut post is near done, but the video I had wont load - so your getting still shots instead.. back later.

14 comments:

Dawn said...

Your family is on my prayer list. As a farmer's daughter, I'm very familiar with the daily struggle for finances, getting all the work done and wondering what the future holds since everything depends on the markets. I love that picture of Palmer--the sun coming in the window, him at work, the little calf in the background. Beautiful!

Willow Witch said...

It will get easier, but none of you will ever forget. Of all things when we pass a farm, Nate will go..."I still miss the smell of cow manure" Plans change, and what is down the road may be bigger and better than either of you ever imagined... and Milk Man may find himself doing something he enjoys and says "why didnt I do this sooner?" and the answer is.. it just wasnt time yet... Big Son will do what he is ment to do..as will the other boys.. Its hard to go through ( I know, first hand) you will grieve and you will grieve hard, you are loosing part of who you are, but that very part is what will give you the strength to move on, with you heads high, hope and faith in your hearts... I promice...

COFFEE MAN said...

Hang in there lil sis , i know any words seem hollow now. time does heal , and thsi doesnt mean big son wont be a farmer , it just may not be for himself , and that could be a blessing in disguise .

Donna said...

For years I had a dream of owning a little dairy. I did hand-milk (and later bucket-milked), using all that milk to raise bobby calves. As years went by, I watched all the local dairies close one by one, and realized my dream wasn't practical.

But I still have that one Jersey cow. She had a bull calf this time, but she's bred back (hopefully), and maybe she'll present me with a lovely registered heifer next year.

I have to say it's pretty nice to let her calf stay with her to take all the milk until I want to milk; then I put the calf up overnight and help myself the next morning.

Life is simply better for me when there is a Jersey cow around.

goatmilker said...

We will be praying for you all. I totally understand we have a farm also. We have feeder steers and a few pigs. I have a cow I milk and about 20 goats 6 of which I milk. It is hard you never know where the money is coming from, deciding which bill to pay or how to get all the work done without hiring anyone to take extra money. Hang it there hopefully it will get better for all us farmers. People just don't understand without us there is no food.

Karen Deborah said...

I'm sorry you are hurting. I am praying that there will still be a cow in your future, even one sweet milk cow for your kids to have good raw milk to drink, and butter. The good stuff of life.

The world is changing. I remember my grandparent talking about the great depression. My husband had an aunt that used to save EVERYTHING. She didn't have garbage service. She washed styrofoam meat trays and stacked them. Pretty weird, but it was because she could not bear waste of any kind after what she had been through.
Lift up your kids eyes to hope in God. I don't want any of you to have any bitter feelings. It just hurts. We have had to walk away from special places twice now. It is unsure if we will be able to stay where we are.
But having a place in the country is still an option for you, and setting up your own place as you want it can include farming. You may be a small family farm that sustains itself. I don't know, but I am praying for you. It's easy to do because I am praying for us and then I remember you, and Trish and her daughter with a traumatic brain injury, and so many that are hurting right now.
Big Son has a lot of knowledge that will go WITH him. You all have who you are and what you know. It's better not to think about the others who have more, it's a trap. Been there and done that and it just adds pain.
I'm looking around here to see what we can sell. The only thing is people aren't buying.
hugs...

Mrs Snow said...

Hi hun,

I agree with willow witch..It will be heartbreakingly tough at first and my big hugs go out to you..But like her,I also truly do believe that where one door closes another opens..This may only be temporary - who knows maybe in the future big son will have his own farm ?- he already carries the knowledge with him.You can guarantee that those that have endless money have empty lives - they can't appreciate the small things that we love (like your son collecting the berries you love in his rolled up jumper) or the silly things that they do to make you laugh.Close loving memories cannot be bought and are priceless. No one knows which way the path in our lives twist and turn..its only many years later looking back we can understand the reason why.Just know that you take the love, hugs and prayers of everyone in blogland with you.I know that your sunshine is just over this hill..So keep your chin up hun..Love, light & Blessings Sue:)

Andi said...

I'm so sad for your family...But I know that you will come away from this stronger...Just be careful not to nurture a bitter root (cuz that's totally what I'd be doing right now...But I'm sure you're better than that) I'll keep praying for you.

OH, and I gotta say, that I could never, ever, EVER say that I would never want to be rich...I'm happy with what I have, but I think I could handle a try at being rich too! :)

Heidi said...

I love you guys!! I am confidant that the Lord has wonderful plans in store for us! I am truley not jealous of those with money, for the simple fact that you cant trade what my family has for cash...and I wouldnt.

Andi, I HAD to tell you that I have a bitter root there that wants to spring forth like a weed....put I am putting as much Roundup on it as possible!!! LOL I truely make the decision DAILY to not be angry at those who are controlling this and I am not talking about my husband. He is AMAZING and my life would be much less without him. SO, its with a great amount of strength that is God given that I dont let that root go right to my core and fester like a zit on a teenagers face..... got it?? :) Love you all and thank you all for the love, understanding and prayers. My heart rejoices in your friendships!!!

my word verification was 'breaked'... *snicker*

GreenRanchingMom said...

Don't think I've ever posted...But, I've been praying for you!!

I just rec'd notice of a Value Added Producer Grant. Stop by my blog & then e-mail me!!!! I will e-mail you the forms. Up to a $300,000 grant.

(HUGS!!!) GreenRanchingMom

Vickie said...

I'm with you Heidi. I'm so sorry for your family having to go through this. You're right about some rich folks. The man my husband works for has so much money that he doesn't even know what to do with it, much less help anybody else out. A few years ago, one of his daughters committed suicide. Their family is not close, the $$ has divided and conquered all. I wouldn't trade all the $$ in the world for what I have with my own family and kids.

The Lord knows what you need before you even ask. Live for this day only like the 23rd Psalm says. He will provide for your daily needs. I pray that He will open a window where a door has been closed. God bless you all, dear.

GreenRanchingMom said...

ebersolecattleco at yahoo dot com

Greenmare said...

i understand that totally. I think sort of like that when I see or read about people with "second homes". I could not live like that knowing - like we all do know- that there are people living in cardboard boxes. it just doesn't add up to me.

Patty said...

I won't even pretend to know what your going through because I don't. I only know that it stinks and I pray for you daily. Wish I could do more.