The Birthday cake massacre - is a bust...

OH BOY! Sorry everyone, but the birthday cake massacre is a bust.... the camera FAILED.. but through the sadness and tears I do have a couple of pictures that might be nice to see..

The boys are LOVING karate... Big Son is now a blue belt and Lispy is a yellow...

Then you have the cookie phone user.... he is a shifty little bugger...

Anyway - I have a nice post for tomorow.. Cherry juice - how to make it..

Talk to you all soon!!!

MILK DUD TURNS 2.....

Hey there everyone! I just had to tell you that Milk Dud turned 2 on Friday July 30th.... I can't believe it either. How he has grown in the last 2 years... from my sweet baby that captured my heart to the little fellow that teetered around learning to walk - to the little man that now says 'tank u' after you hand him anything... They grow to fast. Wanna walk down memory lane with me?



Woof - look at that beehive on my head..that was really my moms purse... not to mention the protrusion from my mid section... Coffee man, one word from you about a wide load and I am taking those Cha-Cha heals back that I gave wifie poo for your enjoyment... got it???? Good.

To the stinking cute little feet





and baby buns...

Sorry - that last one was for purely my enjoyment - Ladies...he's taken......Paul L. cover your eyes, I am sure your becoming nausiated... :)

To my little man...



To a little boy that is INTO EVERYTHING!!!


Tommorow I will show you pictures of the cake massacre - I am sure you are all riveted to your seats in anticipation! Till then - watch out for dog poop, it sticks to the lawn mower tires... LOVE YA!

All in a days work.....

Anyone here??? I am in the process of canning blueberry jam, cherry syrup for home made pop, watermelon rind pickles and canned shallots... Any one got somthing they want to share that they can? Like somthing that is out of the ordinary? SOOOOO Give me somthing new to try!

We now return to regular schedualed posting......

Hello everyone! I am so sorry to have been MIA for a MONTH but with an early spring here, we have been busier than a skunk eating bumble bee's. The Milk Man is putting in longer days - not sure how thats possible condsidering he already worked from sun up to sun down, but he is. The kids are busy trying to get into trouble of course. Big Son is almost done with school - a month early thank you, Lispy - well we all know that not much changes with him. He tells it like it is and then some, not sure where he gest that from.... Milk Dud, is GROWING TO FAST! He is no longer a baby, but a growing boy... He is going to be - dare I say it - 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in July. It makes me weep at the thought, I would LOVE another baby - but my plate is so full now that I know I could not keep up.

As for the farm....
The oats are all in, the corn is almost half way done and the hay is growing fast, but the weather is all over the board. We had SNOW today - it acutally accumulated on the deck and cars. Then we had rain pellets..for about 10 minutes looked like those little styrofoam packing beads on the yard.
We have gotten some new milking equipment and it is DANDY folks..I will have to post about it soon. But dont forget that the word soon for me is well, relative. So please leave me a comment and let me know how you are all doing? I miss you so much and wish I could visit you all each day - at some point in time I am hoping that I can do that once again. AND my Florida friends....will you be stopping up this year?
Love to you all - Heidi

How to render lard...

I know I have done this before, but a friend of mine wanted to see it - so please bare with me...here it is again!
div>Lard is not for pansies people – if you cant take the fat, get out of the kitchen! Rendering lard is not a hard task, nor is it really time consuming. A little bit of background on lard is in order.
Lard is made from pig fat and pig fat only. Beef fat is tallow and people use that for soap, bird suet and some people I am sure cook with it, but not this chica – no sir ree….
To start with you must talk to your local butcher and ask him to save you the best pig fat that he can get his greasy little fingers on. When procuring fat you want to be sure its ‘clean’, and by that I mean it has little or no meat particles in it. It is impossible to get completely clean pig fat, but you can get exceptional quality fat if the butcher gives a crap about saving it for you. Our local butchers are GREAT about this and know that if they butcher for us, at times we butcher our own, I will want GOOD fat for lard. They always are pretty proud of their accomplishment and say “See Heidi I got ya the good stuff’ – they’re proud of their trade. Not everyone can be a butcher and do a good job of it. SO, after you have gotten your pig fat – let the fun begin.


Here is what raw pig fat looks like right from the butcher....

You have to put it in a roaster in pieces.

I just lop pieces off as I go... I like to lop things off.... or just lop..

Then you must bake it on a low setting because it IS FAT - IT WILL BURN! So I prefer 225 but Granny Farmer does it on 200 and it takes her longer. I like to try to get mine done in a day if possible. When you cook it on a higher heat, you must watch it more carefully... I will show you why later...

After a little while you will notice a 'scent' in your house that smells a little bit like pigs, but if your butcher did a good job - it should be minimal. See the liquid fat in this roster? This is what you want. I check it and then put it back in until there is more fat melted off. HOWEVER - you dont want to just 'let it cook' you should check on it frequently because the liquid fat will cook the semi solid fat QUICKER than before. Its just like deep frying...if that example helps at all.
I continue to cook it until there is more liquid fat, then I take a colonder lined with a terri cloth dish towel and set it in a cake pan. I didnt get a picture of this because I am a one woman freak show people and the grease was FREAKIN HOT! Then I GENTLY pour the liquid fat slowly into the colonder and watch the small particles catch on the towel. You dont have to put the towel in, but I am very fussy and want my lard to be litteraly 'spotless'. The small amounts of fat that get into the liquid lard make specs in it - I like mine white like crisco.

See how clear this is - Milk Man happend to walk in and ask me why I had water in the pan... I screamed "YES" thats what I want to hear!! He cocked his eyebrow and said - Lard huh - he knows me well. I didnt use a colonder on this batch because there were not as many small pieces - so a spider works well.
I let the pans set to cool for a little bit on the counter. You can see that it is getting cloudy as it cools. Once it is semi-solid, I put a lit on it and set it out on the deck were its 13degrees and it will freeze for me.

Dont mind the corn - Milk Man was testing the moisture content and left it on the table out there for the birds...

See how white it is? Its a bad picture but it is white - pure like new snow..




Then I cut it, put it in bags and into the freezer it goes to be used for pie crust, bread or anything that calls for crisco.

Now some people cook fat until its yellow and the 'cracklings' are 'done' - I dont because it yellows and somtimes, not always, but somtimes has a piggy strong smell and flavor.

Now I had this batch get a little yellow, but it will still be used because its not smelly at all. If it had a 'smell' to it, I would use it for suet cakes, or give it to Vicki for her soap because the esential oils will cover the scent and not ruin her soap... SO any questions?

ITS HERE!! IT'S HERE!! Garden Porn!!!!!!!

OH MY GOSH!!! I have to tell you that this post is short - cuz I have SO MUCH to look at right now. I will be back with all the dirty pictures and perverted mulch that I can get my hands on...

But till then....



Do you like my hair? Yes, that is a hotel bathroom...you can tell cuz its clean and the mirror can actually REFLECT an image unlike my water stained, finger print checkered, dust clinging to mirror in my bathroom. All these years I thought I was a red head - dangit - this mirror just blew that outa the water!
Talk to you soon!!

Lispy ask's a question.....

Today I am home trying to get a grip on the shred of sanity that I claim to have....don't look at me like that. I swear there is one here somewhere among the dirty dish's, miss matched socks, cow poop on the floor, cheeto faced baby and the never ending piles of laundry scattered through the house. Needless to say on days like this, I make lunch that consists of .....a box....its shame full really - I don't take the time to make a real meal at lunch...but, that's life while working off the farm I guess. Anyway - as I was standing by the stove stirring mac and cheese from Aldi's, Lispy came up next to me and hugged my leg. Looked up at me with his beautiful eyes and the following took place....be prepared...there is no swearing...thank you God...

Lispy - mom

me - yes dear - (please don't forget that i was only half listening because I was making noodles for the mac and cheese and running the feed bill through my head and thinking about joining the peace corps and running away with the hippies that drove by in the love machine yesterday and a few other things)

Lispy - Does dad think your sexy -

me(after I drop the spoon and pick it back up) what do you mean Lispy?

Lispy - You know mom does dad think your sexy like Cinderella?

Me - I have no idea what your dad thinks about a sexy Cinderella.. What do you think sexy means?

Lispy - That you wear pretty cloths and dance around.....

Me - Yup, that's what it means - but we cant use that word till your 20....so from now on just tell someone you think they are pretty not sexy ok..

Lispy - Ok mom...mom - your pretty sexy like Cinderella....

and that is was the end of it... until he said that his Big Son had told him that sexy meant pretty with nice cloths - Big Son is not home to interrogate, I mean question at this time....

You all have a nice day and remember - I think your all sexy people!!!

My aching leg....

Well my dear readers - the Milk Mans Wife has had a health issue. I had lipo-suction... **giggle** ok, not really - but I wanted lipo-suction. The dr. took off a mole and I politely asked if he could take 10lbs off each thigh while he was at it. He was not amused....I told him I would make him supper, but no go. So I am now lesionless, with chubby legs....and flabby arms...and a roll in the middle where my waist used to be...with a 1 inch cut on my leg, that when the stitchs ripped ended up being closer to 2...I found 6 gray hairs today so as soon as I wake up from that coma that sent me into, I am going to town to buy hair dye. If you have any questions, ask the children because I will be drinking the rest of the cough syrup....and they are smarter than me anyway.

Be back soon- no, I didnt/wont take pictures of my large, bruised chubby thigh - so dont ask!!! LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Here I am, Rock me like a huricane!!!!!

I am such an 80's child!!!!! Beef teaters! I have to put that off for a few days, cuz I dont have any pictures of beef teaters... **hangs head in shame** I am SO sorry...

Anyway - here is a picture of the baby farmer....




He is getting SOOOOOOOOOOOO big! I cant look at these pictures anymore without wanting a baby....



What a difference 18 months makes!!

Beef teaters will have to wait....

Sorry everyone, I have to work this morning so the post about beef teaters will have to wait till later...

But I did find somthing interesting in my milk glass this morning.....

see the floater?


ice pick?

Thanks Lispy....

Frozen teater's.....

OH it is EVER so cold today!! This morning it is -12 here with a minus 25 windchill. I have frost on the inside of the windows this morning and that is never a good thing. Cold weather is here for sure! Uffda... The Milk Man is already in the barn and I am getting Big Son through his homework. Lispy is with his dad and Milk Dud is still tucked in under warm blankets with snuggly jammies on....I go kiss him every few minutes, I love babies....does everyone know that I love babies... I mean is it totally obvious or what? I love baby toes almost as much as their little hinders - pronounced hind-er with a long i.. as in kite...get it? got it?? GOOD... but this is a post about frozen teaters... as in cow tittie's... or cow titters.... no, I am not being vulger - its what we call them. Well, to be honest we call them...... tits. There, I said it and I feel SO much better now that I am no longer in the closet about using the word tit. In the winter around here, we need to be careful with our dairy herd because of frostbite on such things as the teaters.

This is a picture of a cow that is close to 'freshening'. Her 'bag' (udder if your not up on your farm slang) is engourged with colostrum.... I used this picture for 2 reasons. First to show you that there is NO hair on a cow's tittie and that the skin is very tender and soft. Dairy cows are the Diva Princess's of the bovine world... in other words - they are a bunch of pansies...

They need constant care if you are going to maintain a good, healthy, productive herd - you MUST take care of your cattle.

This next cow is a half breed. She is part Angus and part Holstien... personaly, these are my favorite cows. They are hardy because of the beef blood, yet produce a bit more milk than a beef does because of the holstien blood. This cow is is named.... Mamma Jugs. You can see by her back end and 'bag' that she is a half breed.

These are Mamma Jugs - jugs.. If you look really close, you can see that she has more hair on her 'bag' AND her titties are not as tender skinned as a holstien. The hair on her bag lays against it and really keeps it warm. Tomorow I will do a post on a beef cows udder so that you can all know your stuff when it comes to cow teaters. I know you all want to pass the quiz on Monday.... **snort**

To prevent frost bitten teaters we do 2 things. At times when it is bitterly cold, like today - the cows are left in the barn. This is harder on us because it requires more cleaning and feeding, but it way better for them, at least for a couple of days. We dont leave them in more than 1 full day before we have to let them out for some exercise. Can you imagine being tied for 24 hours only being able to stand or lay.....There are times when its is cold for a week with below freezing temps. Those days we have to let them out for 15 min - just to move around and they go right back in the barn. Cold weather on a dairy/beef operation requires lots of animal manegment. We are fortunate to have RARE occurances of frost bitten teaters... These next pictures are from the web, not our farm.

Nasty huh... there is more wrong with this cows bag and teats than frost bite though...she looks like she is on a 'big operation'.... Her teats are in more trouble than just being frozen, but I dont want to go into all of that now. Just know that large farms - with lots of hired help, dont do well with cattle care.

SO - I have to get going and get to work. Thanks you guys for sticking with me - smoochs to you all and eskimo kiss's!!!

Summer time and my 'rig'....

OH, how I am missing summer. Mowing, gardening, picnics, mud, blood sucking vermon, nights around our fire pit - blood sucking vermon - and the best of all the smell of fresh cut hay and freshly plowed earth and watching the boys play in the water... Summer is more work in ways, but so enjoyable to. Any season on a farm is busy - but the work trades off. In the Winter its to get all the cattle fed, cleaned and watered and keeping the snow at bay, plowing and shoveling pens etc - in the spring the fieldwork, plowing, discing, planting, fencing, planting etc. Summer haying, dehorning, castraiting, fencing, building upkeep, painting and just maintanance that cant be done in the winter. We try to give each piece of machinery a good 'going over' in the summer so that its less in the fall when its put away for the winter. Fall - is a swear word.... harvesting, harvesting, harvesting, harvesting, harvesting.... for weeks on end - day after day - hour after hour. Corn, oats, hay, barly, rye and corn stalk bails for bedding, straw for bedding and the list goes on. The things that I mentioned above are things that we have to do on top of milking morning and night, feeding morning and night, cleaning for all the cattle one time a day. Also, any vet needs that we have to take care of. We do all the things, other than surgury's, ourselves. The Milk Man is ver proficent in 'veining' a cow to give her IV meds, foot care on a dairy herd is a MAJOR nessecity and not to mention breeding programs. We have a bull for our beef herd and our dairy herd, but we look for 'heat cycles' in our cattle to make sure the bull gets a good chance at her... *wink wink nudge nudge* When a dairy cow is bred, the date that she is bred needs to be kept track of. This is done because she needs to 'dry up' at about 7.5 months. The gestation for a cow is the same as a human - 40 weeks. Drying a cow up before freshing (giving birth) is done so that she is in the best possible shape when she calves. (gives birth)There are several steps to a dairy cow 'drying off'. She has to have a gradual change in her feed intake - what she eats and how much of it - and how 'dry' you get her when she is milked. Its a science really - not for the faint of heart. SO - thats it for the that lesson.. I started this post wanting to show you my 'rig'... what I drive in the summer when I have to haul stuff.

This is what I drive when I need to haul 'stuff' - like mulch, rocks etc. Yes, I can back it up and 'run' it.. it is really a feather in my hat when the guys at the lumber yard where I get mulch - tell me to 'move over so I can back it up' - and I smile and answer them 'Where do you want it'.... and back it up - myself... **giggle** Last year when I went to get mulch, I had all 3 kids with me, the guy that told me to back up asked if I was single!!! LOL He is a guy that we know and he was TOTALY kidding, but did mention that its hard to find 'a gal like that'.... SO - I had better get going. Here is a couple of pictures of summer that make me feel good... enjoy!

This is a cutting job we had to do that was on the edge of one of our fields. You have to keep the edges of the fields clean or they get so overgrown and when you drive the tractor close to it the branchs hit the cabs and scratch them up or chip the glass in the windows. Also, we use the wood for our stove in the winter - waste not, want not. Beautiful view isnt it.
My best friend, Lispy in the corn. This picture was taken in early July - knee high by the fourth of July is the rule in our area. That means if your corn is knee high at that time, it will make it to maturity before the first frost.
AND - our Beloved Schnitzel and The Trout. Those 2 are SO special to us and we hope they will be able (and willing *giggle*) to stop by for a visit again this summer. We love having them and let me tell you they are the MOST special couple. They are like a second set of parents - I just LOVE THEM!

Ok, time to get going - love you all!

I owe, I owe so off to work I go...

Well friends - its happened. I am working 3 jobs, all part time hours and trying to keep the Nut House running.... I am the head nut - any questions? Things are going - but money is always a problem on a farm. Let me rephrase that - a family farm. I have to work off of the farm to be able to afford the needs of our family, small as I try to keep them - we still need toilet paper..dang it. SO - I am at it needless to say. I work part time for the ag dept doing farm surveys, but they dont always have work for me so I must supplament that. I have been working doing some dog grooming, but I am only getting a couple of dogs a day and that is NOT enough to supplement - SO I am also trying to take care of an elderly lady 3 days a week for 4 hours per day. That should help - that and I am going to stop eating, that should be about half of our food budget. The Milk Man is doing well, but his fibromyalgia is really hitting him hard this time of year. We have had such funny weather..cold, damp, rainy and he suffers terribly when the weather changes. The boys are good, naughty but good....what do you all expect from my spawn... **naughty grin** Big Son is doing good with school and karate. He LOVES karate. Milk Dud is going to be 18 months old you guys!! WHERE did my baby go..... he says Mamma, please, thank you and shut up...nice huh... Lispy, well - what can I say about him. He told his grandpa the other day that if he didnt start being nicer to one of the calves..(his words) "Grampa - if you dont sthart being nicer to that calf I am gonna kick your asth... you hear me grampa? You listhening? GRAMPA!! dammit listhen" My father in law heard every word, but was bent over the calf pen laughing his head off and trying not to let Lispy see him....such is life on the funny farm.

So how are you all? How is the new year treating you? I miss you all so much, whenever I think of my blog my heart breaks because I dont have contact with some of the most wonderful people that I used too... Sue The Farmers Wife, Karen from Fresh Fixins.. Sadie...and so many others...Mrs. M, Mikey, Train Wreck, Spanky and I could go on forever... so ladies - and big brother, of course I didnt forget you... :) LOVE YOU please drop me a note and tell me how you all are, or leave a comment. Talk to you all soon!!!

Honey corn bread....

Hope you are all warm and well fed this fine morning.. I have a question for all of my southern readers. A few years ago I had the pleasure of working with a black gentlman that was an WONDERFUL cook. He laughed at my northern naievty when it came to southern cooking. One night we were at work and he brought in greens with ham hocks, red beans, dirty rice and the most amazing honey corn bread - the only honey corn bread - I have ever tasted.... I drool at the thought of it right now!!! SO - I was wondering if anyone has a great recipe - I dont want an internet recipe I would like something that was a family recipe. I promise not make a cook book.. :)but I want a recipe that is special because those are the best taisting!

Talk to you all a bit later today!